I knew it was a car crash. I was standing in my lounge room when I heard it, even though I couldn’t see it.

Chaotic screech, sickening bang. Adrenalin surge. Silence.

I ran out my front door to see multiple cars stopped at awkward angles. The smell of burnt rubber hung in the air. My heart was beating loudly.

It took a moment to figure out what had happened. A couple of bewildered blokes were getting out of their vehicles and a sobbing young woman had extracted herself from a crunched pink hatchback. She sat in the gutter. The airbag on the driver’s side had gone off.

The accident was her fault. She’d run into a ute ahead of her. The ute driver had slowed down for a car in front of him that was making a right turn into a driveway. It was an accident.

To add to the confusion of the scene, there was also a learner driver and instructor who were practicing parking on the opposite side of our suburban street. A bonus lesson for that teenager.

Everyone was speaking softly. I remember thinking how fortunate it was that gentle heads prevailed. In this situation of high stress, no yelling, no aggression. What a relief.

The only sound was the young woman crying. I despatched my son to get a cup of water from inside our house and crouched down next to her. She was gasping and apologising repeatedly. The men hung back, giving her space to catch her breath.

She had a sip of water and called a family member who gave her support over the phone.

What happened next, will always stay with me.

The driver of the ute, who was a middle aged bloke in a hi-vis work shirt approached me and said the only thing he cared about was that she was ok.

“Accidents happen,” he said.

“I just want to make sure she’s not hurt.”

I was taken aback by his kindness. He was holding his wallet and keys but was in no rush.

I asked if he was alright, because despite the size of the bumper on his ute, it would still have been a hell of a shock. He said he felt ok and we both inspected the damage.

It was then that I noticed the shiny perfection of his vehicle. Gleaming paint, shiny rims, sleek black tyres. So clean it sparkled.

It was a brand new ute. He was driving it home for the first time. All the more reason for him to be frustrated or enraged. Instead he was calm and patient. He helped push her broken car off to the side of the road. He moved his ute up onto the footpath.

Eventually they exchanged details. What happened after that I guess involved insurance and possibly more tears. The afternoon wasn’t what anyone wanted but it could’ve been far more traumatic.

So often the loudest voices in our society get elevated. The dramatic reaction garners the headline. The extreme response goes viral. I want to give props to the deep breath moments. And the people who choose to respond with empathy not anger.

Those reactions don’t make the front page or top the algorithm. But I’ll always remember that man’s response. He helped when he’d been hurt. And that no doubt will help that young driver heal.