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In sport, playing the name game can sometimes overshadow all else

Elite sport is always a pleasure to watch, but for that extra spice the players need to have a flamboyant moniker, writes Jim Tucker

Apr 14, 2023, updated Apr 14, 2023
Isaac Vivian Alexander Richards in his heyday.

Isaac Vivian Alexander Richards in his heyday.

What’s in a name? Plenty. It has always fascinated me for some reason from those early days of watching the mightiest of West Indian cricket teams.

It wasn’t just Viv Richards.

There was always something more to the king of Caribbean cricket when you saw his full name in front of you…”Isaac Vivian Alexander Richards.”

Or the great Andy Roberts. He bowled bouncers at different speeds to flummox batsmen who felt they were in position to play the hook but were only part way through the shot when the red ball flew by their ears.

He had the memorable handle “Anderson Montgomery Everton Roberts.”

Would golf disruptor Bryson DeChambeau have made the same mark if he were simply Mark Brooks? Maybe but the headline writer who invented the wonderful tag of “Bryceps” would have cursed that gem never being born.

I have a fun list that builds by the year because it gathers all the truly golf names.

Hannah Green, Eagle Chan, Ryan Yip, Chris Wood and Birdie Kim weren’t born to be tennis players.

Names don’t always match their calling.

There was the aviation PR in NSW always quoted after plane accidents called John Death. It was never the right fit as skilled as he was at his job.

Fourth generation Queensland cattle grazier Josie Angus could not be better named.

Likewise, Dana McCracken was a perfect fit as a chiropractor in the WNBA with the Seattle Storm.

The creative names out of the Pacific islands often give a nod to history or circumstance.

Manu Samoa’s 1991 Rugby World Cup hero Apollo Perelini was so named because he was born on the same date in 1969 that the Apollo 11 space mission launched to put the first men on the moon.

There’s a player who has just broken through into the Moana Pasifika rugby team called Miracle Faiilagi.

Rugby league player Paletasala Ale couldn’t escape being known as “Pale Ale” when he was emerging in New Zealand. An endless re-run of the same gag followed him.

Sadly, the mangling of islander names by footy commentators was never considered a demerit until a few years ago even though it reflected poorly on the professionalism of some. Thankfully, the standard has lifted immeasurably and bumblers are called out.

Anything can blow up in the AFL and it did a few years ago when experienced commentator Brian Taylor insisted on pronouncing Orazio Fantasia as “Fan-tay-sha”. His defence that Italian names were pronounced with an Australian twist didn’t really wash when the forward was “Fanta-sia” to anyone who mattered.

Back a few years, New Zealand Rugby ran a smart Say My Name campaign so that everyone got a chance to hear the correct pronunciation of confusing names.

Researching tricky pronunciations to perfect them is always part of it for the best commentators. Just look at how football commentators like Craig Foster and Lucy Zelic have seamlessly navigated the minefield of names at soccer World Cups in the past.

Fuifui Moimoi had a delicious rhythm to his name and the former Parramatta NRL player had something of a cult following.

Some names work in tricks. The famous cricket commentary line “the bowler’s Holding the batsman’s Willey” was only possible because West Indian paceman Michael Holding was bowling to England’s Peter Willey.

Not everyone has heard of “Trevor Ballwork”. Trevor had never played in the old NSWRL competition for Parramatta until a newspaper sub-editor was rushing through a story that was presented to him.

He subbed everything to perfection until he turned “clever ballwork” into future rugby league Immortal Trevor Ballwork with a few errant key strokes.

Sometimes media types are creative. When reporter Amy Park was working in Melbourne, it was a no-brainer for one chief of staff to allocate her a live cross from the footy.

Sure enough, the immortal sign-off, “This is Amy Park reporting from AAMI Park”, is now part of media folklore.

Certainly, some identities in Australia need no more than a single name. It’s a sign of reverence that “Warnie”, “Thommo”, “The Don”, “Dawn” “Buddy” or “Alfie” are so easily identified.

American parents always seem to be playing a weird game of “look at my kid” because christian names like Riley don’t seem to be good enough for them.

That’s certainly the case when you can spell it Rylee, Rheilly, Ryleigh, Rhiley and so on for a boy or a girl.

Celebrities have a lot to answer for. When Kim Kardashian and former husband Kanye West named their daughter North, as in North West, many scratched their heads. Her siblings are named Saint, Chicago and Psalm.

Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily were the birth names of the daughter of late rocker Michael Hutchence and Paula Yates.

Centuries ago, occupational names were a thing so ancestors passed on surnames like Carpenter, Butcher and Baker which are still widespread today.

The professional sports landscape in the US is awash with flamboyant handles.

NFL greats like Tom Brady eclipsed countless records as a quarterback. In the name game, he’s not even close to the Hall of Fame.

Just try Greedy Williams, Randy Bullock or Lawyer Molloy in NFL history or Diamond Stone, who had a brief NBA career with the LA Clipppers. The mouthful Equanimeous St. Brown only came about because his father was simply John Brown and wanted a more interesting name for his son who ended up playing for the Green Bay Packers.

Who didn’t want to follow Boogie Brozoski when women’s college basketball was her dance floor.

Names and times change. The most popular baby boy names in Australia in 2022 were Oliver and Noah. For baby girls, more are growing up as Charlotte and Amelia than any other name.

Back in the 1980s, you had Michael and Christopher, Jessica and Jennifer in the same spots.

When it comes to the name game, just spell them so kids can all understand their own.

JIM TUCKER has specialised in sport, the wider impacts and features for most of his 40 years writing in the media. It took him a long time to grow fond of his full name, James Jamieson Durrant Tucker.

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