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What's with that? Why most of my family will only communicate via Seinfeld quotes


It’s a love-him or hate-him situation when it comes to American comedian Jerry Seinfeld – but Phil Brown is pinning his flag to the mast

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Have you heard the news? Jerry Seinfeld is coming back to Australia next June!

Let the joy bells ring.

Unless, of course, you are not a Seinfeld fan. If so I’m sorry, we can’t be friends any more.

In our house Seinfeld is a religion and my son has been indoctrinated into the faith. He sent us a photo of himself in a shop in Newtown in Sydney the other day wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with that hilarious portrait of Kramer. You remember the episode? What a hoot.

My brother and sister are also huge Seinfeld fans. My brother lives in Canada and we communicate by Seinfeld quotes.

I live my life by things I have learnt from Seinfeld. I’ve asked for a T-shirt for Christmas emblazoned with my favourite George Costanza quotations. “It’s not a lie if you believe it.” Now there’s a motto to live by.

I moved seamlessly from Seinfeld into Curb Your Enthusiasm. The star of that show is Larry David, creator of Seinfeld (with Jerry) and Jerry and the gang have popped up on Curb as do many of the actors who have had cameos in Seinfeld.

I still watch a bit of Seinfeld every day on Foxtel and some Curb too. It keeps me sane. I think.

I will be going to see Jerry next year. It’s nearly seven years since I last saw him at the Brisbane Entertainment Centre.

That was like the Second Coming for many of us. We went as a family and I had to file a review afterwards for the daily newspaper I was working for at the time.

I know Seinfeld was supposed to be a show about nothing but it turned out to be about everything and Jerry’s stage show was pretty much the same. It was just him doing stand up and it was hilarious.

I was so excited to be there I bought a chocolate ice cream on the way in, something I never do. I polished it off just before Jerry came on and after the show, elated, we walked to the car and I phoned my review in as we strolled. Old school.

It wasn’t until I’d hung up, satisfied my work was done, that my wife broke it to me.

“Um, I didn’t want to tell you this before,” she said. “But you have chocolate all down the front of your jacket.”

It was my favourite blue sports jacket too, made for me in Hong Kong by the famous Sam’s Tailor who used to make David Bowie’s suits. True story.

Anyway, I looked at the stains, let the expletives fly and went straight to the dry cleaner next morning. It was all a bit like a Seinfeld episode, don’t you think?



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